The Path to the Truce

It is important that men and women make peace, because the collateral damages aren't just to the men and women, (That's bad enough) but to children and other loved ones who can get caught up in the middle. There has been a lot of distrust between the genders for a very long time, and it doesn't appear to be getting any better. This is important to me, and in the next paragraph, I'll try to explain why.

What is our most basic building block of society? The family. What is the most basic building block of a family? The couple who start it. Sometimes a couple is all that ever is in a family, so it is very important that a couple be strong and whole. If the couple is not strong and whole, the family is...stunted. Negative emotions build and build, and even positive ones can become twisted if they are not expressed. The end result is a dysfunctional family that creates dysfunctional children, who grow up to start a dysfunctional family of their own. Since the family is the most basic building block of society, society becomes stunted and dysfunctional. This adds pressure to an already unstable relationship, and it becomes more unstable. Then society becomes more unstable. Do you see where I'm going with this?

In all of the discussions of equal rights, family values, affirmative action and so forth, the one thing that no one wants to discuss is how men work, how women work, and how they work together. This is one of the most important conversations, because this is where resolution begins. Oh, I've seen all the quizzes, the columns, the advice to the lovelorn and so on. They tend to be filled with words like "should", "can't", "won't", "must" and my personal favorite "stereotype". They speak of self actualization, boundaries, positive mental attitude, and perceptions. What they tend not to talk about is that little mad scientists' lab in our body called a hormonal system. They tend not to talk about the emotions, how strongly we are hit by them, or why. Technically, because of the chemical compounds we have bouncing around our bodies any given day, each of us is insane. The difference is, that men and women are insane in different ways. Testosterone in males creates aggression, sexuality, physical restlessness, strength and sometimes violence. Estrogen, on the other hand, creates passiveness, emotionalism, nurturing, and believe it or not, territorial ism.  Over the next few days, we are going to discuss these chemical compounds, how we react to them, and how those reactions can be negative or positive, weak or strong. Stay tuned...it should be an interesting conversation.